Saturday, August 24, 2013

Five Minute Friday: Last

Five Minute Friday friends, will you do a favor for me? Head over to Keystone Ministry and take a look at the current giveaways. We are having a month of prizes!!! Enter and cross your fingers for winning! Thank you!

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Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo Baker and hundreds of others. We write for five minutes. All on the same prompt. No extreme editing. No worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

This weeks prompt: LAST

Once Upon a time I was a hugger. My last week of church camp was full of hugs.  I would meet up with friends I only saw at camp or other special events and cherish those few hours together starting and ending with hugs. College brought different friends, and less hugs. Since college I have mostly stopped hugging friends. Somewhere in the past 15 years the heartache of friendship tore me apart and left me building a wall around my fragile heart.  

Several times in the past year I have wanted to give a friend a hug, but didn’t. Doubt, insecurities and pride have kept me from reaching out to a friend in pain or celebration. In April I ignored that pride and gave a dear friend a hug. The two hours that followed that hug my thoughts berated the wall around my wounded heart. God had been healing me and restoring my trust in friends for years. But that moment, this simple action was physically healing my soul. The wall was starting to crack.

Meeting more Allume attendees through Five Minute Fridays and the Allume community I have started making a list, “Friends I want to hug their necks at Allume.” While compiling this group of names the fear of rejection creeps into my soul. I know they want to hug me back but what if they are just being polite? What if their hugs don’t mean anything?


The warmth my heart felt back in April is still so real, like warm apple crisp on a perfect Autumn afternoon. That hug is what I’m clinging to when the doubt stands firm in the gaping hole of that prideful wall. I’m trusting God to continue to heal my heart as I build these friendships. I’m asking you, friends, to keep me accountable to give you those hugs in October. I don’t want to walk away with a heart full of pride and regret. I’m so grateful for your friendships and I want to show you just how much I love you with a simple gesture. Virtual hugs for now, the real thing soon. ((hugs))

Andi and Brad have been married since 2002. They have five squishers who keep them on their toes. She is a second generation home educator. In her spare time Andi creates and sells handmade goodies in her shop, Andi Gould Designs.

16 comments:

  1. That was brave; being real and honest in this post. Hugging makes us vulnerable to perhaps being rejected and not being hugged back. Yet, you are allowing God to heal you and that is a brave thing to do. To allow yourself to be vulnerable. Keep taking steps forward no matter how little they might seem. :D

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  2. Courage and tons of grace to you as you continue your healing journey, and take the risk of being vulnerable. Thanks for your post. EW

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  3. There is nothing I love more than a hug, but have recently turned my hug off, it has been a real area of pain for me after some humiliation and rejection around something so special for me, God is working in my heart for it not to become hard and bitter. Thank you for talking about hugs :) Tara.

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  4. I love to give hugs, but I don't always feel like the person I am hugging is welcoming. I would LOVE to hug the necks of several bloggers. I hope and pray that I get to do that at Allume one day!

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  5. I am sending a {hug} now for your smile and connection. So glad to be getting to know you! I am so looking forward to seeing you at Allume! ;)

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  6. oh girl, i so know what you mean!! i used to hug ALL of my friends, almost every time we saw each other, and nowadays, a hug from a friend is a very rare (and very special!) thing. i want to try to hug more, to love more openly, to stop guarding myself from rejection so ridiculously, to just be free to love and not fear being rejected, because i know that, even if i am rejected, God will always accept me. He always wants me, and He always wants me to l.o.v.e. others the way i want to be loved. thank you for sharing your heart on this! and a big virtual *hug!!* to you!!!! <3

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  7. I'm a total hugger...I hug with abandon. (And probably drive a few people crazy, too...) ;) Can't wait to give you that (in)RL hug, friend...Allume is coming up SO fast! Until then... (((hugs))) :)

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  8. I am a total hugger, too... but I know what you mean. It has been so long since I've had close in RL friends that I have a hard time gauging whether someone is a hugger or not, and my insecurity takes over and I don't do it. Funny - I'm much more comfortable giving/receiving hugs from my husband's guy friends than a lot of women I know. The soldiers are like family, ya know? Have them over for dinner and study-sessions with home brew enough and they become like brothers-in-law instead of buddies.... but I totally just digressed there. I will not let you get away without a hug. I expect there will be a LOT of hugging at allume :) Tons! 8 weeks 8 weeks!

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  9. Next month!!! We will have that hug next month! :D

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  10. Loving others the way I want to be loved has been big for me this year. Thanks for stopping by, friend!

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  11. I'm so excited to see you next month!!! Hooray for Allume!

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  12. Barbie, I think it is that uncertainty of the other's response that sends me into a fast downward spiral of doubt. In reality I think a lot of people would have a better day if they were given a hug. I'm trying to hold onto that thought! Happy day, friend!

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  13. Tara, I'm praying you will be healed from your pain and continue to hug away all those around you! Thanks for stopping by!

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  14. Thank you for your encouragement! I try hard to be honest I'm so glad it comes across that way. Happy day to you!

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Thank you for stopping by today. I love hearing from you. Leave a comment and we can chat more!
~Andi