Thursday, February 17, 2011


I hate to tell you this, but I've been avoiding you. The girls room is finished, except I still haven't hung some pictures back on the walls. In my mind that makes the room un-finished. I know it is ridiculous but that is why I haven't posted any pictures, but I will very soon, with or without pictures hanging!

The other reason I've been avoiding you is this little squisher inside me. The past week has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Talking about it to friends and family makes it real but I think writing about it is going to make it even more real. That whole "seeing my thoughts in print" thing and all. So here goes for being real.

I've been having contractions since about 16 weeks. That happened with Monster too. With Monster my doctor said, "this is your third pregnancy, it's normal." Well last week when I went in for my regular visit I asked when I should start being concerned about the contractions I've been having this time around. After a few questions I think she realized the contractions this time were more intense than my last pregnancy. After checking me she found that I was dilated to 1cm and 50% effaced. I was 30 weeks and 5 days. She sent me home saying to take it easy. The children and I went back home and watched a movie. I sat down with them and only had two small contractions during that hour. Then I had to make lunch. In the next 20 minutes of making lunch I had four fairly intense contractions. It was like that the rest of the day.

resting = little contractions
working = intense contractions

I called her back Thursday morning to find out specifically what I could do and not do. I told her about the lunch thing the day before and she sent me straight to Labor and Delivery Triage to start steroid injections for the baby's lung development.

And she put me on bed rest.

I have been independent since the day I was born. My mom has told me about when I was a baby she would leave me in the nursery at church and the workers would tell her I had cried. It wasn't because I missed my parents, it was because the nursery workers wouldn't put me down and just let me be!

Now here I am having to watch everyone around me take care of my children and home--while I just sit--and do nothing. I know this is what is needed right now for this baby to stay inside me a little longer to grow stronger and increase his chances of a full term delivery. But it doesn't change the fact that one minute I want to scream and the next I want to cry because I can't just go grab Gypsy's clothes for her or get Monster out of his highchair. I feel fine. I can do all these things. But I am constantly having to remind myself not to pick up my children, not to help them clean up their messes, not to go put the clothes in the dryer Brad put in the wash this morning. I don't like being told that I can not do something.

I went back to see my doctor on Monday. She said I had dilated a little bit more but really no changes. I am allowed to walk around to keep up circulation. But I can not DO anything, no lifting, no chores, very limited stairs. I will go back next Wednesday to see her and start having non-stress tests. I will be 32 weeks tomorrow so I am at least in the clear of the "earliest delivery the like." After 34 weeks they will not do anything to stop delivery. Our pediatrician would like me to make it to 35 weeks. And after 37 weeks I can return to normal activity! I'm trying to brace myself for him not coming until 41 weeks like Gypsy did, but trying to stay positive reminding myself five weeks from now I can start doing my own laundry again.

Things I am grateful for during this time of restriction:

  • Brad, for being mom and dad and taking care of everything around the house
  • my mom and sister, for coming to take care of the children during the morning while Brad is at work
  • that this little squisher hasn't yet come but is still growing safely inside where he needs to stay
  • Netflix
  • my laptop
  • Netflix on my laptop
  • family and friends who are bringing us meals (by the way have you seen this site?! MealBaby)
  • being able to do a somewhat normal school day in bed
  • Bookworm being able to read almost anything
  • getting to shnuggle a little more with my children
  • the contractions have calmed down since being on bed rest
  • I'm trying to be grateful for this time to depend on others, asking God to teach me how to accept help and enjoy the benefits of relying on others

Andi and Brad have been married since 2002. They have five squishers who keep them on their toes. She is a second generation home educator. In her spare time Andi creates and sells handmade goodies in her shop, Andi Gould Designs.


  1. Oh my! What a difficult time for you - I'm so sorry to hear this! I wasn't on bed rest, but had my little Peanut at 32 weeks, so I understand any worry you may have of an early delivery. I'm happy to hear that God has directed your doctor to give good instructions & that she's keeping a good watch on the situation. I'm happy that Brad & some family & friends are able to help you. And I'm happy that you're able to try your bestest to focus on some of the good things during this time of surreal nuttiness! I'm not nearly the worker bee that you are, and I know that would drive me nutso to have to rest so much! Hang in there... time will pass quickly (I hope!)!!! I'm talking to God on your behalf! :)

  2. I understand how hard this is for have to laugh at yourself (just a little) about being excited to do laundry in 5 weeks....c'mon sister, let's just rejoice that you get 5 weeks VACATION from doing laundry, okay?!! I love you!

  3. sometimes memories get us through the tough times Thanks

  4. Ugh. I've been on bedrest for backpain, and it nearly drove me mad. Never mind I can lay on the couch for hours and hours at a time watching movies and being a slug. It's the being told I have to be on bedrest that makes me crazy. Best wishes to ya. At least you've got something good coming out of all this. :)

  5. I had the same issue with my son when I was pregnant with him. I had to be on bed rest. I just cross stitched and watched a lot of DVD's and read books. It's for the best and it will be worth it. Godspeed.

  6. In the future you will look back on this post and smile.

  7. Your blog is adorable! As are the things you have to say


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